doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
