guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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