I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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