How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
