p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
