Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
My vagina is officially offended.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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