He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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