wrigley field is MILF paradise
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
