he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
