forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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