Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
