new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
