break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
