9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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