Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
