Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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