Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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