too bad you live with your parents still
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize
