Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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