he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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