you guys were way drunker than both of me
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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