I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
