i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
