I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
