hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
