Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
