I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
