He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
