My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
