do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
