I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
