I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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