Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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