Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
