you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
