Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
