NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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