His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
