He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
