He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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