wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
