unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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