I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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