the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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