Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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