Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize