The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
is wine microwaveable?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
