Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
