Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
