Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
